Don't Forget Your Shield!

Too much sports? This has been a hot topic over recent years, having seen it debated through various forms of media as well as virtually all of the “social circles” that I have involvement. One thing is certain to me. THERE IS A LOT OF DISAGREEMENT.  Not surprising to me since my own stance has altered somewhat with the “changing of times”.

Before we go any furthur, lets get a couple of things out of the way. First, this topic is concerning young people that really like sports and require little encouragement to jump right in. Parents that continuosly push their child to play sports is a separate topic for another day. Also, in order to discuss a broad topic like this, we must take a general approach. There are exceptions to most things and kids are no different. I understand that each  child and their circumstances are unique. What’s good for one may not be good for another.

As I stated earlier, my stance has changed over the years. In the past, I was completely focused on a “healthy balance” and thought that sports schedules of many families made it impossible to achieve balance. By the way, I consider a healthy balance to be an ample amount of time given to academics, “family time”, church activities, extra curricular activities such as sports, and chores. I still believe in having a healthy balance, but I now understand that sports cannot be blamed as to why a child’s life is not “balanced”. Here’s why:

Sports provides a “balance” of positives in a child’s life.

1. It teaches so much that assists a kid in deveoping skills necessary to be a successful adult. These include developing discipline, being more responsible, learning to work with others, developing work habits, setting/achieving goals, and handling adversity, just to name a few.

2. Sports can be great family time. For instance, I have a 14 year-old boy that’s played baseball since age six. When I reflect on our 14 years together, I realize that some of our best family memories have come from sports. Not always from the baseball field, but sometimes  fun family memories come from our travels  to tournaments or experiences that we have had at the motels that we’ve stayed….sometimes even between or after games, not to mention our restaurant outings as a team! Ten baseball families together on a weekend has the potential to generate a multitude of memories!

3.  It’s great exercise and promotes a healthy lifestyle.

4. Christian values can be reinforced during athletic competition…such as sportsmanship. I’ve enjoyed seeing our team huddle together in prayer before each game. Also, some sports programs such as Upward Basketball promotes Christian values at each practice and game. They even provide Christian devotionals at halftime! Check them out.

If your child is playing a lot of sports, they have the opportunity to receive many of the above benefits. Over the last few years, studies show that the majority of children are not playing “too much” (or any) sports. THE MAJORITY OF KIDS IN OUR COUNTRY SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME PLAYING VIDEO GAMES,WATCHING TELEVISION AND VIEWING THE INTERNET UNSUPERVISED. During my time as a therapist, most of my young clients spend the majority of time viewing the internet(Facebook’s a favorite), texting friends, and also seem to enjoy watching adults behaving badly on reality TV shows. Unfortunately, these things dominate the lives of so many young people and provide few positives. Compare this behavior, which has become the norm, to the extremely structured world of youth sports, which includes adult supervision at all times. I choose sports over the “norm”, hands down.

One last thing. Sports isn’t the only activities that provide great benefit to a child. Your kid may not even like sports. There are numerous activities available with great benefit such as band, clubs (such as 4-H, or the Boy/Girl Scouts) and many others. The key is to get your child involved in positive activities and help them to avoid all of the negatives mentioned in the paragraph above. With few exceptions, structured and supervised activities are good for a child. Most unsupervised activities, not so good. Too much free time with “nothing to do” can lead to some big-time problems. Take the lead as a parent and assist your child in exploring whats right for them. Help your child to get involved. Start today!

I’ve always loved sports. Among my personal favorites is the Olympic Games. Each Olympic experience provides viewers moments of great inspiration. Over the years, NBC has enhanced one’s ability to be inspired by running  those human interest clips between events that they’ve become famous for. These stories often entail the hardships and obstacles that Olympians  face along the way. For me, these clips magnify my interests.

During the 2012 games, one such American athlete received much of the spotlight, Gabby Douglas. Without rehashing the entire story, Gabby’s family faced many hardships and sacrifices to give her an opportunity to be an Olympian. These included financial burdens and lengthy periods of time away from her family. It was also well documented that they placed great dependence on God during these years.

As a viewer, it struck me  that there was an incredible amount of risk in Gabby’s choice to chase the Olympic dream. When weighing risk versus reward, it was a scary proposition. Despite the many sacrifices made by the ENTIRE family, there were no guarantees. There was no guarantee she would make the U.S. team. There was no guarantee that she would then make the Olympic team. And there was surely no guarantee that the Olympics would provide a happy ending…..and millions would be watching the story play out. That’s an almost insumountable amount of pressure.  It must have taken A LOT of trust and faith to make it through the daily pressures and constant scrutiny that comes with this type of dream. But the Douglas family relied on God and dared to move forward with Gabby’s dream.

As a viewer, seeing it all play out with Gabby being awarded the gold medal, was very inspirational. Gabby’s  words following her triumph made it memorable for me:

“ I give all the glory to God. It’s kind of a win-win situation. The glory goes up to Him and the blessings fall down on me.”

Those are words to live by. What if WE fully place our faith and dependence on God and completely hand it ALL over to Him. What if we allow Him to lead us in our daily decision-making and  our main focus in life is to glorify Him? How would doing this impact your parenting and the development of your children? How would it change your family? Remember, when the glory is going up to Him, ultimately the blessings will fall down on you. Once Gabby’s dreams were realized, she was able to use the platform of “Olympic Darling” to furthur the advancement of God. What does God have in mind for you and your family? You will never know until you allow Him to lead. It probably won’t lead you to the Olympics, but maybe something  better.

Click the link below and watch Gabby give the glory to God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75Y2TuG66EU

In 1973, the Eagles released one of the all-time great ballads, Desperado. If you regularly tune in to classic rock stations, it won’t take very long for you to hear it. Over the years, I ’ve come to enjoy lyrics that actually make me think and reflect on life. This song has one such lyric:

You’re losin’ all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feeling goes away.

Sadly, these lyrics ring true in the lives of many adults. Why is this?

First of all, it’s worth noting that kids seem to experience constant highs and lows. Sometimes, as adults, we think they experience far too many! If a child is moving forward in a healthy manner, they will dream big, have a belief in those around them, and truly believe that the possibilities in life are endless. When life is approached in this manner, there are going to be a LOT more highs and lows! This may bring discomfort  to us adults. We may tell ourselves,”Kids just don’t know any better.” We may frequently be focused on reigning in our children, believing that we are simply protecting them. Be careful. Theres a big difference between protecting and limiting our kids. Sometimes, we should take a few cues and learn from them!

As adults, unlike most kids, we stop believing that the  possibilities in our lives are endless. Due to what one perceives as past failures and disapointment,  self-imposing limits and playing it safe become the norm. We structure our lives in a manner that is filled with only what we have to do, leaving minimal time to follow our dreams and dare take risks that may bring great reward. We simply stop believing. When a daily routine begins to define who you are, you’re possibly in the process of “losin’ all you’re highs and lows.” Don’t let that happen…and don’t assist your kids into falling for this trap .

MOVING FORWARD

1) Of course, it’s a parents responsibilty to look out for their children and make sure they are safe. Sometimes we may be OVERPROTECTIVE because we want to shelter our kids from experiencing the “lows”. Be careful. It may hinder your child from experiencing the “highs”. Before acting, analyze your motives and ask yourself if you are being protective or overprotective.

2) It’s never too late for us adults! Theres still a place in your life for your dreams and passions. Begin this process in baby steps. Identify a passion that you have and a small way that you can incorporate it in your life. Every few months, identify a way that you can make it a bigger part of life. Before you know it, you may be experiencing more “highs” than your daily routine previously allowed.  Another benefit of this is that your kids will take notice!

3) If you cannot identify a true passion, pray for guidance. If you’re willing to follow God’s path for you, you’ll have NO problem with experiencing the “highs” that have been missing from your life. This will not only positively impact you……but also your child!

Here’s a link to the Eagles’ “Desperado”. Check out the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v80JtLKX_VY

Have you ever listened to the radio and hours later couldn’t get a particular song lyric out of your head? This happened to me this morning as I was preparing for my first work day of the new year.

“Hold on to 16 as long as you can.

Changes come around real soon,

Make us women and men”

John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane” was released in 1982, when I was 16 years old. At that time( 30 years ago), it was my favorite song. Although I knew all of the song’s words, I had no appreciation for the above lyric. Back then, I can remember thinking  “There’s no question that being a man is MUCH better than a 16 year-old kid!”  Now, at age 46, it make SO much more sense to me. Imagine that!

Over the ages, it’s been a common theme for kids to make efforts to rush childhood and attempt to hurry on into adulthood. Unfortunately, in our world today, influenced by many parent’s actions and what kid’s have access to, childhood is accelerated significantly. This results in  kids struggling with adult situations well before they’re mentally prepared.

TEN TIPS TO HELP  YOUR KID  REMAIN A KID

1.  Make YOUR home the “hangout”. You get to know their friends and you are in charge! Believe me, you will learn A LOT!

2. Get to know the parents of your child’s friends before allowing your child to visit. As a therapist, I’ve heard horror stories when this one isn’t followed.

3. Plan more family activities. No explanation necessary.

4. Limit television/computer time and monitor closely. Too much of most anything is not healthy. FYI, there are plenty of so-called reputable websites  that offer options that are one click away from pornographic material.

5. Limit time with video games and allow no mature themes. Studies show that violence in teens has been influenced by these games.

6. Communicate, not interogate your child daily.

7. Involve your family in church, and not just on Sunday!

8. Purchase your child a cell phone that does not allow internet access or texting. A phone with texting and internet access has the potential for much more bad than good.

9.  Keep your child away from social networks and chat rooms. In therapy sessions, this is often identified as a kid’s greatest stressor. It’s not surprising. Many adults can’t handle the social network environment.

10. Make your home an environment that is child-friendly, free from your child viewing behaviors that you wouldn’t want them to model.

Of course, there are more than 10 ways to help your child  avoid growing up too fast. I’m sure you can think of many more. Some of you may be thinking that a kid shouldn’t have listened to John Mellencamp. Maybe you’re right about that! If you get a chance, post some of your own ideas on the topic. Thanks.